


Kuroko's Fairy Matchmakers (or Kuroko's Nosy Roommates)

by bisexualkiseryouta



Series: KnB Fics [2]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Fae & Fairies, Fluff and Crack, Future Fic, M/M, fairies!Riko and Momoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-30
Updated: 2014-07-28
Packaged: 2018-02-06 20:03:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1870608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bisexualkiseryouta/pseuds/bisexualkiseryouta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kuroko often wonders why he was the unlucky person to get stuck with two fairies for roommates who claim it's their "mission" to sort out his love life.</p>
<p>But, maybe the end kind of justifies the means.</p>
<p>Kind of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"No, silly, we're  _fairies_! I've told you that six times already!"

Kuroko looks at the pink-haired girl doubtfully- although his expression doesn't really look doubtful, more, ah, blank- who's sopping wet, waving around a wand that looks like a five-year-old made it, and whose outfit is pink, heart-stoppingly, noxiously pink, with glitter and ribbons and  _everything_.

The girl seated beside her looks a lot less... pink. She looks pretty average actually. She's got short brown hair, pinned back with a barrette, and brown eyes and there isn't a dash of pink anywhere on her person. Her outfit makes her seem like more of a business person with a dress shirt and a tie than like a, um... fairy. Although, she hasn't exactly been denying it. Really, all this girl's said since she got her was "call me Riko-san" and "tch, are you sure you're not a ghost?". The other girl has been chattering nonstop.

"Anyways, we're here on a mission! So, if you could help us, that would totally be cool!"

At the words 'you could help us', Riko-san snaps to attention, which Kuroko is thankful for; the girl had been glaring at him intensely, like his existence was a personal insult to her. It was more than a little uncomfortable.

"Satsuki! Are you stupid? That's against-"

"Against The Code, I know," Momoi interrupts, fiddling with the ribbons and lace on her wand. "But, Aida, he'd be a huge help! We can't let anyone else see us- to minimize the, uh, damages and, you know, exposure to the human world-, so he can be our little, um, gopher, helper, person!"

"Huh." Riko-san turns back to him, sizing him up, and he feels like she's staring right into his  _soul_ \- or, at least through his shirt. "That... could work."

"See? And, Tetsu-kun's so  _cuuuuuute_ , too!"

"Eh."

"What? You don't like him?"

"Well, he isn't-"

"Um, excuse me?" The two girls turn to Kuroko, who's torn between asking if this is some elaborate prank someone- not Ahomine, not Bakagami, they're too stupid... Kise, maybe? doubtful, but possible, considering the pink girl's atrocious outfit. maybe that's "in" fashion or something... not Midorima, he's too... yeah. Akashi? Akashi is probably the most likely choice, although, it seems a little... childish? for him- set up, or if he should call the police or someone.

"Oh!" Momoi flashes him a smile, "yeah, sorry! You probably are wondering where your say in this is, right?"

He nods slightly.

"Nowhere. You have no say." Riko continues. "From now until the foreseeable future, you'll be housing us and helping us with our mission. Got it?"

The boy tilts his head to the side in confusion; ever since the two girls showed up on his doorstep, drenched and exhausted, they've been spouting nonsense about fairies, speaking informally with him, a stranger, and, mostly in Riko's case, have been surprisingly rude. He  _could_ throw them out- in the politest way possible, of course-, but he seriously doubted they had anywhere else to go since they were so eager to stay with a complete stranger. And it would be wrong to force two teenage girls- and they _do_ only look to be about sixteen- back into the streets at night in the pouring rain.

So, with an inward sigh and a mental cursing of his good morals, Kuroko Tetsuya nods his head in agreement. "Alright." And, because the girls look a mess, he adds, "Would you like anything? Food, towels, clothes?"

And, from then until the foreseeable future, Kuroko Tetsuya was stuck housing two "fairies" in his apartment.

* * *

The Mortal Realm, where humans dwell, is one of many,  _many_ realms in the universe; some inhabited, some not, some primitive, some not. Aida and Satsuki hail from the "Realm of the Fae", a land where fairies and other magical creatures coexist (fairly) peacefully. Inter-realm travel is simple for fairies- do a simple spell, throw some fairy dust in the air for effect, and- PRESTO!- you're in another realm.

Long ago, fairies took it upon themselves to screw with humans- they thought their trusting nature was just  _delightful_ for playing pranks, and so they did. And, everything was fine for a while; they played pranks, got themselves a laugh or two out of the naive mortals, and then continued on their merry way, not even taking the time to explain that the prank was, in fact, a prank. It took a while for things to get bad- at first, the only side effect was that the humans stopped seeing the magic creatures in their realm; they wrote them off as myths, or fairy tales. That wasn't such a big deal.

Then, people lost the ability to find their Soulmates.

It used to be that humans were born with the inherent ability to recognize their "other half"; some people described it as a red string connecting their pinkies or hearts to the pinkies or hearts of their Soulmates. Some people said their Soulmate's name was written on their hand. It varied from person to person.

When the eyes of mortals were closed to magic, their eyes were also closed to their connection to their Soulmates. And, the fairies may love screwing with people and making them miserable, but even they know how cruel it is to leave mortals wandering about blindly, unable to find their "true love". Some humans retained the ability to recognize their Soulmate- they call it "love at first sight". And, sometimes, "love at first sight" still isn't their Soulmate.

So, then the fairies started meddling in human affairs for a different reason; they became matchmakers to atone for their sins against the humans, and have been doing so ever since. Every fairy is expected to spend at least one hundred years working in the Mortal Realm, considering their life spans are exponentially longer than any human's. The average fairy lives for a couple thousand years.

The whole matchmaking thing has gotten a lot more organized and modern over the centuries, and now the fairies work in partners, and the partners are given assignments from the Council. These assignments are usually simple- get in, make the humans fall in love, get out-, but sometimes they're extremely difficult.

Aida has a feeling this assignment isn't going to be the piece of cake Satsuki expects it to be.

After reading over the files of the matches she came to one conclusion:

_All of these guys are complete idiots!_

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Ugh! I guess start with Kuroko and Kagami? I mean, damn."
> 
> Momoi nods sympathetically. "This is going to be a really hard one, Aida."
> 
> "Yeah, I know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I FINALLY FINISHED ANOTHER CHAPTER UWAHHH~  
> Sorry this took so long, I didn't really know what to do with things, so I was procrastinating~ Anyways, this is mostly just backstory stuff; I apologize for that... anyways, I hope you enjoy ^u^
> 
> Also, I made a blog for my fanfictions, so if you want to check my progress on stuff I'll be updating on der, so you can check it you if ya want, and if I do any art for the stories, I'll put it there~
> 
> It's this thingie ------> http://zombie-apocalypse-or-not.tumblr.com/

"Good morning, Tetsu-kun~"

Kuroko looks away from the stove to find Momoi padding into the kitchen, the shirt she borrowed from him barely covering the tops of her thighs, running her fingers through her mussed pink hair. He politely averts his gaze as she takes a seat at the kitchen table.

"You're a preschool teacher, right? That's so cute!" The pink-haired girl flips through the lesson plans he'd been looking over- every moment of the day meticulously planned out in his neat handwriting. The front of the notebook is covered in fingerprint-shaped smudges and stickers from his students. According to her research, the bluenette really enjoys his job and loves children.  _Tetsu-kun is so adorable,_ Momoi smiles at the papers on his fridge baring colorful scribbles and barely legible signatures. "Would you like some breakfast, Momoi-san?"

"Sure, if it wouldn't be too much trouble..." she trails off as he places a plate of food in front of her, murmuring a soft "thank you for the food" under her breath before digging in.

Before wandering into the kitchen, Momoi took a look around Kuroko's house, which was small in a quaint, cozy way. If Momoi remembered correctly, it was the same house he'd grown up in and he'd inherited it when his grandmother- his sole caretaker when he was growing up- passed away in his last year of college. There were three bedrooms, although one was being used as a makeshift library/office combination, and a tiny living room with a comfy couch and a plush armchair that looked soft enough to fall asleep on. The kitchen was probably the biggest room in the house, since it served as both the kitchen and the dining room, with sunshine yellow walls and a wooden table covered in crayon marks.

Riko stumbles into the kitchen, yawning loudly, clad in oversized sweatpants and a college sweatshirt that looked at least eight sizes too big for Kuroko even. "Mornin'." she grumbles before collapsing in the seat beside Momoi. Without another word, Kuroko places a plate of food and a big mug of coffee in front of the brunette, who gives him a grunt of appreciation.

The house is silent as the three of them eat their breakfast- although Momoi isn't sure she can call the way Riko's vacuuming up the food and glugging her coffee "eating"- and Momoi mulls over Kuroko's file in her head.

The blue-haired boy was born on January 31st to Kuroko Hideki and Aika. Aika- according to Momoi's extensive research- was a kind, bubbly woman who worked at a small daycare near their house; she's probably where Tetsuya got his love of children from. She was also very beautiful with long, silky black hair and chestnut-colored eyes and a pale complexion. Apparently, she was engaged to another man before she married Tetsuya's mother, but he turned out to be a cruel, horrible man who was poison to the bone, and she left him after a particularly bad "accident" involving a steep flight of stairs that got her a number of bruises and a broken arm.

Aika met Hideki through her friend, Aomine Satoru, the police officer who helped her leave her ex-fiance. Hideki worked with Satoru as a forensic analyst; he was quiet and easy to miss at first glance. He had an odd sense of humor and he got the most adorable blush when someone would compliment him. He wasn't as openly expressive as most people, but, after a while, Aika started noticing the small quirk of his lips when he was amused or the slight furrowing of his brow when he was worried.

After three years of dating, the two were married in a quaint little ceremony with only their closest friends and relatives. Two years after that, Aika gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, who they named Tetsuya.

Tetsuya had the sky blue hair and azure eyes of his father and the pale skin and bubbly personality of his mother. For a while, at least, he was an extremely happy and giggly baby who loved anything vanilla and chasing butterflies around the yard. Satoru's son, Daiki, frequented the Kuroko's house, and it almost seemed like the two boys were attached at the hip. They were always, always,  _always_ smiling.

Then, of course, something bad happened.

Hideki's job was mostly a bunch of desk work and looking at stuff in the lab, so he was never really worried about the whole "dangerous" part of working with the police; his job was relatively tame, to be honest. He wasn't usually in the line of fire, not like Satoru, who had a habit of recklessly getting injured when trying to apprehend criminals. That was one of the reasons Satoru's wife, Kazue, claimed to be why she left him, abandoning him to raise their child all alone.

One day, Hideki had to go on site at a crime scene to look at something, but he wasn't worried. Satoru was with him, and, the few times Aika mentioned being worried about Hideki's job, Satoru always promised- in a kind of conceited way- that he could take care of the smaller male if any problems should arise.

Hideki was inspecting the body they found- a middle aged woman propped up awkwardly against a dumpster, face butchered beyond repair- when the murderer, a man who'd had a mental break down a few months prior after losing his job, returned for who-knows-what reason. The man attacked Hideki from behind, slamming his head into the pavement hard enough to kill him, and ran away before Satoru even had time to grab his gun.

It was just an unfortunate instance of wrong place, wrong time that left Tetsuya without a father and Aika without a husband.

Tetsuya became withdrawn then; his sunny, happy disposition vanished, and he rarely spoke. He still played with Daiki, but not nearly as much as before, preferring to stay inside and read his dad's collection of books instead. Those oversized, goofy smiles he used to sport were replaced with the almost imperceptible turning up of the corner of his lips, his father's smile. Aika worried over her son, but Satoru told her to leave it; the kid was just trying to come to terms with things his own way. Around that time, Aika switched from working at the daycare to an expensive preschool that was an hour drive away, needing the extra money to keep them afloat, and invited her mother to come live at their house to watch over Tetsuya while she was away.

The six-year-old absolutely  _adored_ his grandmother; the old woman's silly jokes and loud, cackling laughs grew on him, and, while his personality continued to still resemble his father's more than his mother's, Tetsuya got some of his old cheeriness back. Daiki, on the other hand, was always butting heads with the old woman, mouthing off all the time; Satoru started leaving Daiki with Tetsuya and his grandmother while he was at work, so the tanned boy had no way to escape from the old broad.

When they were seven, Daiki fell head over heels for basketball, and Tetsuya's grandmother- Kuroko Mika- didn't mind taking the boys down to the basketball court whenever there was a free moment. She bought them basketballs and taught them what she knew about the sport from her husband, who coached Tetsuya's uncle's high school basketball team. Daiki got better and better at the sport, playing against anyone he could, while Tetsuya didn't really improve, but that didn't stop him from practicing just as hard as Daiki.

When the two started middle school, they joined the basketball team; Daiki immediately scored a spot on the first string while Tetsuya was stuck in the third string. Even though he never showed improvement, Tetsuya kept practicing, trying his hardest, and Daiki would practice with him whenever he could.

Halfway through their first year, Aika was diagnosed with some strange, rare disease whose name Tetsuya couldn't pronounce if he tried. It was one of those diseases that pops up randomly in like fifteen people in the whole world, kills them, and just fades into nothingness. No research done on it, no treatment options, no hope. She was bedridden after a month, and Tetsuya went to the hospital everyday to visit her, Daiki tagging along when he could.

She held on until the end of his second year, living past at least five death sentences of "one month more" by her doctors, and the funeral was a simple thing with just Tetsuya, Mika, Satoru, and Daiki. Mika cried openly while her grandson cried silently, tears slipping down his cheeks without a sound. Daiki punched a wall a few times and Satoru just stared off into space sadly.

After that, Tetsuya quit the basketball team to take up an afterschool job that he really didn't need, but that felt better than just doing nothing. Daiki's own interest in basketball was slowly declining, sealed with a "the only one who can beat me is me", and the boys went separate ways when it came time for high school, Daiki going off to laze around in Touou, Tetsuya ending up in Seirin.

Tetsuya didn't return to basketball. He watched the school's team's games when he could, but he never joined. What was the point, really?

During high school, he took up a job as a waiter at a fancy restaurant that had a habit of employing high schoolers because they were cheaper than adults. That's where he met Midorima Shintarou, a green-haired boy with an Oha Asa obsession, and his classmate Takao Kazunari, a cheerful brunette that- much to the other boy's annoyance- loved to call Midorima "Shin-chan". Tetsuya didn't mind the other boys, although he and Midorima never seemed to see eye to eye on anything, and they would usually talk during their breaks.

It was also around then when he met Murasakibara Atsushi, a purple-haired giant with a love for sweets and a child-like personality, who was the son of the baker who had a little shop across the street from the restaurant Tetsuya worked at. Tetsuya started visiting the bakery more often to speak with Murasakibara, who would always make him some delicious vanilla treat when he dropped by.

Working at the restaurant and visiting the bakery continued through when Tetsuya started working to get his teaching degree at the university.

Tetsuya met Akashi Seijuurou in his math class- an advanced one he didn't really need to take, but he always did like math- and he enjoyed talking to the heterochromic redhead. The two would go out for coffee together a lot, and they'd occasionally study for tests together. After Akashi met Murasakibara, Midorima, and Takao, the five started hanging out together a lot, going out to do things on the weekend, and for the first time, Tetsuya had something like his own "group".

The group expanded to include an excitable blond model named Kise Ryouta after Tetsuya helped him pass an exam the blond was sure he would've failed if left to his own devices. Kise could be annoying sometimes- okay, a  _lot_ of the time-, but he was nice enough and he and Takao were like two peas in a pod when it came to teasing Midorima. Tetsuya's university years were everything his high school years weren't: fun, carefree, and full of friends.

In his last year, his grandmother passed away. His friends were all there to support him, and he was grateful.

For the first time in years, Tetsuya called Daiki. Even though he'd never really liked the old woman, Tetsuya felt like it was only right to tell him, even if Daiki didn't really care at all.

The two met up at a tiny cafe to talk, and it turned into a lot more than just reminiscing about their childhood together; they spent hours talking about everything that happened since they'd last spoken. Daiki had stopped playing basketball in high school, barely scraping by, and entered the police academy once he graduated. In the academy, he met Kagami, an American returnee who Daiki insisted was a total idiot, and Kiyoshi, a hulking brunette who had the nickname of "Iron Heart" because of "his endless positivity or some shit" (Daiki's exact words). 

After that meeting, Daiki and Tetsuya slipped back into being best friends like they'd never stopped; even after years apart, they still knew each other better than anyone. Tetsuya's little "group" expanded again to include Kagami, Kagami's "brother", Kiyoshi, and another guy from the academy named Hyuuga, who Kiyoshi always seemed to be dragging places.

Tetsuya ended up working at a little preschool after he graduated from uni, while Midorima and Takao continued their schooling to become doctors, Murasakibara took over his father's bakery, Akashi started working full time at his father's company, Kise got a job in advertising, Himuro went on to law school, and all the guys from the police academy joined the police force, where Aomine and Kagami always seemed to be getting scolded by the captain or Hyuuga.

Momoi frowns as she appraises Kuroko, who calmly returns her gaze, looking slightly curious as to why the pink-haired girl is staring at him so intensely. Outwardly, she watches him seriously and observantly like a good, professional fairy, but on the inside, she's more like  _wahhhhhhh~ Tetsu-kun is just the cutest, most adorable, most perfect person in the entire universe~ oh, I wanna take him home with me~ so cute, so cute!_ The boy finally looks away from her to check his watch, and he frowns slightly. _  
_

"I have to leave now. Will you be alright here alone?" Kuroko eyes his guests warily but Riko waves off his concerns. "Don't worry. We'll be fine. We won't break anything." she barks, wide awake and all business. He nods and says a quick goodbye before scooping up his bag and his lesson plan book and hurrying out the door.

* * *

An hour later, the kitchen table (and the floor) is covered in papers and Riko is gulping down her third cup of coffee, frowning down at the files in front of her. "They all know each other, so we can't just set up a chance meeting," her frown deepens. "And a lot of them are oblivious idiots. But, at least the attraction is already there, right?"

"Hmm, I'm not so sure," Momoi sighs, tapping her fuzzy pink princess pen against her lower lip. "It says that Dai-chan professes his love for big boobs pretty much daily and Ryouta-kun clings to Tetsu-kun all the time. Plus, Tetsu-kun doesn't seem to really be  _interested_ in romantic relationships. All the other boys have at least had a crush, but from what I can tell he hasn't. Ever."

"Damn." Riko rubs her forehead; she can feel a headache coming on. Most of their jobs are pretty simple- get in, stage a chance meeting, get out- piece of cake, right? Or, if they already know each other, it's just the simple matter of opening their eyes to their connection through some random event Momoi and Riko plan. But these guys are damn  _confusing_. The only relationship that Riko knows she can make happen is with that green-haired tsundere guy and that taco guy. What was his name? Taco? Tako? Takoa? Ugh, whatever, doesn't matter.

But at least with  _them_ it's a simple matter of getting Mr. Oha Asa Fan Club to admit his feelings for his friend since his friend has already made his own feelings pretty obvious. But, don't even get her  _started_ on that ganguro and blondie; Ahomine is always complaining about blondie, and blondie has practically surgically attached himself to Kuroko. Then, there's Kuroko and Bakagami, who don't seem to give a crap if they're ever in a romantic relationship with anyone ever, because Bakagami is too obsessed with basketball and Kuroko's too busy being Mr. Perfect Pre-School Teacher. And, how 'bout the Jolly Purple Giant and Pretty Boy? It's probably more likely that the purple-haired giant would _eat_ Himuro than date him. And what the hell is even going on with that Akashi guy? Like, who is he even with? Himself? They're matchmakers for Christ's sake, not miracle workers!

"Ugh! I guess start with Kuroko and Kagami? I mean, damn."

Momoi nods sympathetically. "This is going to be a really hard one, Aida."

"Yeah, I know."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOPE YOU ENJOYED~  
> COMMENTS ARE ALWAYS WELCOME~
> 
> Sorry, but I'm so happy I finally wrote something and got out of my writing slump like, dude, it was becoming a serious issue, but, yeah, sorry to bore you, probably gonna be KagaKuro and MidoTaka next chapter, I think, but AoKise will be coming soon, I promise~
> 
> Okay, I'm done rambling.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the short chapter... I just wanted to get the idea written down and get some feedback on it before I spent a lot of time on it.
> 
> Comments are welcome! Sorry if the character's are slightly OOC right now...
> 
> I'd love to hear anyone's thoughts on it!


End file.
